It’s Friday, and it’s officially the end to a busy week for me. Both in terms of writing for my own projects, and providing literary support to a few up-and-coming authors. That being said, I felt guided to speak to rejection – particularly the rejection we writers face as a result of being brave enough to submit work to publishing houses, magazines and the like.
The decision to submit anything to anyone can be a harrowing experience in and of itself. There are hours of self-doubt that may need to be overcome, as well as the anxiety of whether you’ve chosen the right house to send your work too. The right potential home, because once you send that package in the mail, or as an attachment to an email, your baby’s on its own. It’s left to fend for itself, and in front of the scrutinizing, schooled eyes of an editor.
I have been an editor for a couple small publishing houses myself, so I know what it’s like to be on the other side of the desk. What it’s like to sit there and pour through manuscripts, having to evaluate each one. And evaluated on not only how well it’s written, but how likely someone else would be to read it. And not only read it, but enjoy it. This, in and of itself is subjective. Everyone enjoys different things, and people may enjoy the same thing, just to different levels and in different ways.
It is always hard to have to reject a manuscript, no matter how badly or not it may be written. Because I know how much work – how much ink, sweat and tears – went into the making of it. How many months and hours of loving toil, of blissful torture went into the creation. And yet it gets summed up in a few hours or a few minutes, and has judgment passed upon it. But it is necessary, to make sure a publishing house gets what it needs – gets what it desires – and along the way, hopefully helping an author or two.
When I was working these jobs, I always thought this “insider knowledge” would help me deal with, and prepare for rejection a little better. But this was not so. As even with more recent submissions, I am fighting my own frustration. My own lack of patience and understanding with some of the publishing houses I have submitted to. So far, they have all been noes. Some of them have been closer to “yes” than others, but it is still not a yes. And I find myself wondering, “What else do I have to have? The thing is well written. It’s well organized. I believe I’ve chosen the right house. Their vibe seems to fit with mine. And on top of all that, I’ve got the credentials they’re looking for. I’ve got the clout. And still they won’t take me! Why?” At this point, as with many of you I’m sure, I have begun to pull my hair out. To drive myself mad, thinking about all these things.
How to negate them, negotiate, mitigate or otherwise get around these things that seem to be holding me back. That seem to be causing a rejection, when all I want is an acceptance.
And this is after I have made it a point to teach my students not to go for self-publishing. That, despite its attractive offerings, it is not a substitute for the traditional means.
And now, I grapple again with the confusion – the frustration and anger of this undertaking. Of getting seen and acknowledged by publishers. Now I am forced to experience again why so many – I myself included – resorted to self-publishing at one time or another. I grapple with the mistrust, the distrust I have of some of these “standards” of some of these “reasons” various publishing houses will give you as to why you were rejected.
But in all this, as much as I would like to stay in my frustration and anger, I can’t. And I can’t because I know what is really at work here. I know that the rejection is not really a rejection. It is not a rejection of me as a person, or as a writer. It is not even an accurate reflection of the work of art I have put before their eyes.
It is simply a chance for me to redirect myself. There may not seem to be any rhyme or reason to these rejections, but only if you are not able to look at spiritual implications. And that’s what I do best. Mixing the spiritual with the physical is what The Write Alignment was founded upon. It was based on my belief that writing in and of itself, and the resulting creations have a spirit and wisdom all their own. They have a magnetic resonance. One that will ultimately find its counterpart in the proper publisher. In the proper outlet.
So this week in particular, after having received one notice of rejection, and sending off another few proposals, I was asked to contemplate what rejection really means. What it means, and what we as writers can do to work with these rejections, rather than fight against them or worse, absorb them. Believe them, and allow them to stop us in our tracks.
What came up for me was this –
Rejections aren’t a negative thing. They aren’t in our writerly life to dissuade us. They are with us to help direct us. To help us find our ideal “literary home” through trial and error. Through putting ourselves out there to the best of our ability, and then allowing the universe – the spirit of our intention and our work – to slowly guide us to where we are meant to be.
Rejections help us understand our direction. They can help us to move forward, if we let them. And I’m also reminded of what my mom always used to tell me when I was younger, and began submitting. I remember my first rejection. I took it pretty hard, and of course my mom tried to comfort me. She said, “Remember that a no isn’t always going to be no. For every no you experience, there is a yes getting closer to you. It’s not someone saying to you ‘this isn’t any good.’ It’s just the universe saying ‘this is not the right fit.'”
“It’s not the right fit.” Those words, out of all the ones she spoke to me that day – those ones stuck with me. And they are the same words I have told many of my students and clients, when they find themselves discouraged by the whole publishing process. I tell them, “Don’t worry about this rejection. It’s just not the right one. It’s just not the right place. Let’s use this and keep going in the direction we’re going. We just won’t stop at any more publishers like that.”
So I suppose I have written this tonight as much for myself as for you. As much for my own comfort as for yours. As you set out this coming week, and as you put your goals on paper, remember that any goal – any dream – is a journey. It’s a process. And that, despite what you may think, success is not made out of success. It is made out of countless failures. Countless “dead ends” or so they appear. Success is not about winning your first time out. It’s about winning – achieving your intended goal – overtime. Over many obstacles and trials.
So if you are facing trials, celebrate them! That is what victory looks like! And if you look a little beat up? Well, that’s what success looks like!
The Write Alignment: Your Daily Creative Attunment 